Well, we have been a family of 4 for about 2 1/2 months now and I figured it would be good for me to write down how Emma came into the world.
Like with Rylee, we have to go back a little way to get the whole picture. It was the last month of my pregnancy and I was going into the Drs for my weekly checkup. It was there that we learned that Emma was breech. I was sent home and told to do some rocking back and forth on my hands and knees to see if we could get Emma to turn around. So I did those things.
Fast forward a week and were back at the DRs office. We found out that rocking on my hands and knees didn't work. Emma was still breech. So our options were to do a procedure and turn her or to wait until I was 39 weeks and do a c-section. Since I was so terrified of the thought of a c-section, and Dr Winn was confident that we could get her to turn, we decided to try to turn her. So on Thursday that week Ethan and I went to the hospital. I got hooked up with an IV and then they walked me back to the OR where they gave me an epidural. All of this had me a little nervous, including getting the epidural, so I was fighting tears, and to top it off they didn't let Ethan in the OR until after they got me all hooked up to the epidural. Thankfully my nurses were so nice and sweet, that it helped calm me down a little. They finally let Ethan in, and Dr Winn and another OB started to do the turn, or version. I couldn't feel pain because of the epidural, but man could I feel the pressure. I sure wouldn't want to do that with out an epidural. The Drs got her turned and after they were sure that she would tolerate the turn and that I didn't go into labor, they let me go back to my room and wait until the epidural wore off. After which I was sent home.
Now fast forward to the next Monday night. The next day I had my next check up, and I was laying in bed and feeling Emma move around and the whole time I kept feeling a knob up in my ribs and diaphragm. I was really worried that I was feeling her head. But I kept trying to tell myself that it was her bum and that I couldn't tell what was what since I'm not a Dr. So the next day I went to the DRs and was sure that she was still in the right position. Well, after a quick check and an ultrasound, we found out that she was indeed breech again. We decided to try a version again the next week and then induce right away so that I would start contracting and keep her in the right position. As I left the office I broke down and started bawling. I called Ethan and he reminded me that she was healthy and that was all that mattered.
So, a week from then found us back in the hospital ready for another version and an induction. Since I had to be induced with Rylee and had already had one version, this time found me much less nervous. After I was back in the OR hooked up to everything again, the Drs came in did the turn and everything was great. We had to wait for about 15 minutes in there to make sure that Emma would tolerate the turn and that she wouldn't turn right back around until the pitocin was started. The whole time Dr Winn had her hand on my stomach holding Emma's head down. The nurse who was checking Emma's heart beat asked Dr Winn if Emma was fighting her, DR. Winn responded with "a little". So, that just shows how much Emma didn't want to be upside down. They took us back to our room where I spent the next 8 hours in the bed in labor, since I had to wait for the epidural to wear off before I could get up. About 6 hours in, I was at a 7 and was beginning to feel a little of the contractions. About an hour later I was feeling them a little more and asked the nurse about getting more epidural. She sent in the anesthesiologist to talk to me. After chatting with him and finding out that he could give me more up to a 9, we decided to wait since I was just getting feeling back in my legs and I really didn't want to go another 8+ hours of no feeling. This was about 5pm and I got the epidural at 7:30 that morning. Back up one hour and the nurses had to start helping me change positions cause Emma wasn't really liking the contractions. About an hour and a half later, they were changing my position almost every contraction. Emma's little heart rate would go down with each contraction and took a little bit for it to come up to normal. So for about a half an hour of being turned every minute, Dr Winn came in to watch a contraction. After a few contractions, she told the nurses to stop the pitocine. Which they did. And then they gave me a shot to stop the contractions that I was having with out the pitocine. I was so confused as to why they were trying to stop my contractions. I mean, wasn't having contractions a good thing that would get Emma out of me? Well turns out that Dr Winn decided it would be best for Emma if we did a c-section since she really wasn't tolerating the contractions anymore. After she left the room to get the OR team ready to go, I broke down. I was so scared. This was the very thing that I was trying to avoid. This was why we did the version twice. I was scared of the thought of being cut open and that I would have to wait until I was back in my room to hold Emma. This last concern I actually voiced in between my tears to one of the nurses. She asked me if I had heard of a "gentle C- section". I said no, and then she informed me that as long as everything went well and that the baby was fine, I'd be able to hold her shortly after they had her out. This comforted me a little. So after getting me back into the OR, again, and given a LOT more epidural, a few short minutes later I was holding my sweet little girl. Emma was born at 6:27pm weighing 6lbs 12oz and was 20 inches tall.
Ethan was able to cut the umbilical cord a little (after it was no longer attached to me). Which for some reason was another concern of mine, I just didn't want him to miss out on that.
After they got her checked out and decided that everything was ok, they brought her over to me and laid her on my chest. After getting to hold her for a few minutes, I began to feel like I was going to fall asleep and didn't think it was safe to continue to hold her. So one of the nurses took her and went back to our room where they weighed her and everything. After checking to make sure I was ok, Ethan went to be with our little girl. Once I was all stitched up and back to my room, I finally got to really hold Emma.
It has taken me almost 3 months to write this down because every time I thought about how Emma came into the world, it made me mad, slightly depressed, and made me feel guilty. I felt like I had failed her. Like I should have done something more to have had her naturally. It has taken me almost 3 months to accept the fact that I did everything in my power to avoid a c-section. That I wasn't a failure, that it was ok that she came that way because she was healthy. Looking back, I think Heavenly Father knew that she couldn't come naturally. That for what ever reason, she needed to be born c-section. And maybe had she been tolerating the contractions, and we proceeded to natural birth, maybe something would have went really wrong. I know for a fact that Heavenly Father was watching out for me the whole pregnancy and labor. Looking back I can see his hand in little ways comforting me, putting someone in my path to help me, me not knowing I was pregnant the whole first trimester. Heavenly Father knows me so well that he knew what I needed before I did. I am so grateful for him and all that he has blessed me with.
Pictures: 1-Emma, before I got to hold her.
2- Rylee meeting her little sister
3-Rylee after her fist hair cut
4- First picture as a family of 4 on Emma's blessing day